Quicksand

"Sir" "Man" "Young Man" "He" "His" "Him" "Son" "Brother" "Bro" "bruh"

Looking in the mirror and seeing a male

Male hair growth and having to deal with it

Speaking and hearing a male

General feelings of Gender Dysphoria

Being called by a Deadname

Suppressing your true self at work, in front of family, in front of coworkers

Wanting to express your true self but fearing for your safety

Being considered too feminine among men but not feminine enough around women

Concerns about whether you are considered "feminine enough"

What even is considered "feminine enough"??

Constantly being questioned up front and behind turned backs about authenticity

Fearing that you will always be considered a lie

Constantly being compared to Ciswomen and feeling inadequate in comparison

Hating yourself for lying to yourself for years upon years

You say it was out of safety but you wonder if things would have been better if you hadn't "cop'ed out"

Having to spend everyday in a body that you know isn't you and wondering why or how this happened

Being Jealous of those born in their correct body

Feelings of anger and jealously when those same people complain about their bodies

Fearing that you will never be considered on the outside how you feel inside

Fears of Rejection and Disowning from your family

A deep sadness of the possibility of never seeing your family again

Being told who to be and how to be as a child while knowing those were lies; reaping the consequences of those lies and the truth as an adult

Wishing your body was born female like your soul was

Never being able to give your man a baby.

I think that one hurts the most.

~Yuuseria~