I snap awake.
"Where am I? What was I doing again?" I thought to myself as I tried to focus.As I looked around I realized something seemed off. Waves of blue, black, and red all swirl and flood the general area; I felt each of them wash through me as emotions and feelings. Anger. Sadness. Grief. As I looked around I spotted the vortex of this storm; it seemed like a 3 car accident. The 2 outside vehicles seemed okay enough, looks like some fender and bumper damage neither too severe. There seemed to be another vehicle sandwiched between them though, this one seems to have caught the full brunt of the crash. Upon closer inspection it looked suspiciously like my vehicle... but that's crazy I'm clearly right here so it couldn't be. That did it, that one thought made me examine my surroundings one more time and realize that I was no longer in my car. I felt so disorientated, as I shook my head to clear the mental fog away as I got a closer look at that car and it's driver. As I looked at the driver side mirror, which miraculously survived the crash, I saw not the outside me often portrayed in public. I saw the real me; the most authentic me. My hair flowed in the wind, my full lips and dazzling eyes shocked me as I stared right into them. I appeared to be surrounded in a violet-blue dress of sorts; the colors were swirling with varying intensity of the two hues. I stared on, confused and shocked before I snapped out my daze and remembered why I originally approached. I peered though the broken glass to see a Work uniform of my employ and flesh mangled into what was the dashboard of the familiar car; but what really got me what I saw on that uniform: A pin with blue, pink and white stripes on it. The pin I proudly wear on my chest at work; this is me? I'm dead?
As the realization dawned on me and I started to sink into despair and regret, an Entity approached me. I did not see from whence this Entity came, neither high nor low. Also, no matter how I looked at this Entity I could not discern it's features. Neither Man nor Woman, Light nor Darkness. This Entity was just pure energy and I could not comprehend it. They began to speak to me but I couldn't understand their tongue, yet in my head, knowledge filled. I was told my physical form had indeed perished and now my spiritual form, my soul will be judged. Before I am to be lead to Judgment, I am permitted to make 3 intersections with the souls of those whom I held dear. I take a moment to calm down, take in all that has happened and set up with a game plan.
As my soul starts to resonate I am drawn to the soul of one whom always looked out for me; yes, if I was to make these "Intersections" it would be best to start with her. I have no idea what time it is but I find her in front of a laptop tapping away at the computer, furrowing her brows as she pauses then, picking up the typing once more. I reach my hand out and rest it on her shoulder as I begin to speak.: "I just want to start out by saying I am so very very sorry; you have always looked out for me and offered me opportunities to avoid this and I still let it happen. Don't curse me too much, and please don't let my passing hold you down; they still need you. Speaking of they, may I ask a selfish request of you? Let them know I am gone but that all of you will forever be in my heart. I love you all. Once more, I am very sorry." I remove my hand and the intersection ends. Her typing abruptly stops. She cocks her head questioningly. She opens her cellular to LINE and sends a message to someone; a message that would never read: "Read".
With the first intersection done, the next intersection is painfully obvious; I really should have intersected this soul first but that's neither here nor there I tell myself. My soul resonates and I am once more drawn to a more familiar place and a more familiar soul. The soul of a nurturer; the one from whom most of my strength I drew from throughout the years. Yes, this soul I would definitely intersect with before I could go anywhere. She is sitting at the dining room table, drawing in her sketch book. It looks like she is drawing an angel, she is harshly criticizing every little thing but to me, it is beautiful as all her art was to me. I rest my hand on her shoulder as I speak: "So... this isn't gonna be easy for me to say but... Try to be strong for me okay? You are gonna hear some awful news soon, something you would never want to hear. Don't let my departure consume you, know that I was living my life the best I could. I am so very sorry it happened, and that I have to leave you and the rest of them. But my apologies end there. I am NOT sorry for who I am and that I made an attempt to be my most authentic self. You never did accept me... but I want you to know that I do not hold that against you. I just have... so much regret." My hand on her shoulder not enough, I wrap my arms around her. "There is so much I wanted to tell you; show you! Look at me! I am Beautiful! There are so many more moments I wish we could have shared!" Sobs wrack my body as waves of blue and black pour from the depths of my soul. "I want you to know that I'm gonna be okay. That I am going to always love you all and watch over you all." I start to smile and a warm green and orange wave fills the area. "This might be the end of my mortal life but no matter where Judgement casts me I will love you all forever! I just have one small selfish request. The husk that will eventually find it's way to you is not me; never has been. Please, make my likeness more authentic. I might be asking for too much but when everyone says goodbye to me, I would rather they say it to the real me and not my mask." I kiss her forehead and the intersection ends; she stops drawing and a single tear falls from her eye. She doesn't understand why. She wipes her eyes and goes to check on her son in the next room over.
The Entity spoke once more and I still didn't understand how but, my mind filled once more. I still have one more intersection to make before Judgement begins. knowing that I had only one more intersection and yet so many more I needed to make filled my head with algorithms and panic as I scrambled complexly as only I can do. Then I am reminded of a soul whom in an attempt to better their life, made a big move in an attempt to secure a better career opportunity. As I focus intently on that thought I am drawn not to a soul but a building; one I was brought to before this soul made the attempt. Regret fills me as I will not know how it ever went and yet; I feel there is something I could do. I was never one to believe solely on Luck and Chance; but there is something I do hold a respect for. I hold out my hand and focus intently. Out of the deepest pits of my soul, the spiritual representation of all my Karmic actions: flow out, condense, and take form. It's a Violet-blue Kitty, and it stretches lazily in the palm of my hand before sitting at attention and looking back up at me. I proudly look back as I smile and nod at it. It nods in return as it turns to face the building. The Feline Familiar takes a deep breath and it Yowls as loud and as hard as it can. It exudes a wave of energy at the building that streamed until it saturated the whole building, then the kitty scratched it's ear and faded away. The Entity seemed to be mildly amused by this act... at least I think I still cant understand it's words but that thought fills my head; what I have done here just now was unexpected of me. Elsewhere, the soul in question, is unwinding after a long day of work and school. On his phone he sees the number: 11:11. At that moment, Violet-blue energy envelops him for a moment. His anxiety fades and his confidence peaks for some reason; he gets super motivated to create! He takes a screenshot and posts it to IG as he looks over his personal goals; plotting his next step.
With the last intersection over, The Entity informs me that I am to be lead to Judgement now. I nod obediently but before I go I deeply apologize with all my being and all over the world, various selected souls are briefly, lightly touched. Friends, Coworkers, Acquaintances, all felt the warmth of my soul as I was led onward. I stream behind this Entity with no idea where I am being drawn to this time; neither up nor down, just forward. We rapidly pick up speed until everything gets hazy and foggy to my senses...
I snap awake.
The sounds of cars zooming by startle me as I come to. From the side of the road where I parked to rest, I yawn, wipe my mouth, and turn the key in the ignition to start. Time to continue the ride home.~Yuuseria~
